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The first time the guy ended the date by grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing his tongue down my throat. The decor is contemporary, yet welcoming, and the menu is huge, yet not overwhelming. No photos with your arm around any woman, or even with your teenage daughters, which give off an icky perv vibe, because we don't know who they are. You want genuine laughs and smiles.

Don't engage in long back-and-forth emails before the first date. Sometimes you just want to dance out all the stress from work and life with a bunch of people. We know what they look like.

Do not ask about her exes. Some strangers are more strange than others. If it's summer, and you insist on wearing footwear that displays your toes, you'd better have the smooth, clean pedicured feet and toenails of a professional foot model, not a cloven-hooved troll. The bar also holds an annual Kentucky Derby Party along with many other events, so keep an eye out. Women of my generation have made peace with chivalry.

The decor is contemporary yet welcomingThe first time

Along the same lines, don't talk crap about previous dates. You'll never get all that wasted email time back. The greeting can be awkward. And when he walked across the room to pick up his coffee, I noticed a wad of mocha-colored toilet paper that appeared to have dropped from his pant leg and landed on the side of his shoe.

If you can't stand the guy, you can leave, and you still have your chai latte to comfort you on the drive home. My first try was after my divorce. He's already proven himself a truth-breaker. Chamberlain is an award-winning newspaper opinion columnist, feature and food writer recognized by the Associated Press, the California Newspaper Publishers Association and E. These are great for meeting a bunch of people at once and seeing if the initial spark is there.

That just about covers it. To wash down your drinks, you could try the dip trio platter that has sweet potato hummus, french onion, and Southern caviar aka black-eyed peas. The second time I let a man I'd just met but we'd emailed each other a lot for a few weeks drive for our dinner date in Red Bluff. The guy was sarcastic, confrontational, and started talking about sex. It's bad form, and your date will identify with your ex, no matter how crazy a bitch you insist she is.

Just writing about this brings back so many memories. But telling jokes feels forced. And when the date's over, stand up when she leaves, and even walk her to the door, and open it for her.